1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning. Also apparently those homosexual animals have picked up some unnatural behavior.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
![fuckyeahhousemd:
(via fuckyeahhousewilson)
Wilson: There’s gotta be something. She didn’t come back because she likes you. [pauses] Wait a minute! She did come back because she likes you.Clinic Patient: [giggles] You dog! You slept with her.House: Keep talking; I’ll finish your exam with a prostate check. [to Wilson] I’ve agreed to take her on one date.Wilson: WHHAT?!Clinic Patient: So, you into this girl?Wilson: Yes.House: No! Sh-She’s not giving me any choice.Clinic Patient: Wait. She’s making you do her?House: Date her.Wilson: Young ingenue doctor falling in love with gruff, older mentor. Her sweet, gentle nature bringing him to a closer, fuller understanding of his wounded heart.Clinic Patient: Do her… or you’re gay.House: For God’s sakes. [begins to leave the clinic room.]Wilson & Clinic Patient: [singing] Sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!House: Grow up. And learn to harmonize.](http://17.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ksynf97LZa1qa5d2do1_500.png)
